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21 things I learned in 21 years

You might read the title and think what life lessons does a 21-year-old has to share? Well I got a lot. Besides the number of things to come up with gets higher each year so I didn’t want to wait too long.

Age is just a number
You have really mature 20-year-old and really immature 30 year olds. We age with the damage; we age with what we go and grow through not necessarily with the years. If you don’t put yourself out there you might not learn as much as someone else. You might go through a ton when you are young but someone else goes through all that when they are older. Age doesn’t mean anything. The older you get the more you know how it’s just not that important. 

It’s okay to lose a friend
When you get to a certain age you release that it isn’t that big of a deal to lose a friend. Sometimes a friendship simply isn’t meant to be. And this is alright, it’s no use to beat yourself up over it. Not everything is supposed to be forever.

Stay true to who you are
Losing who you are is one of the scariest things you can do when growing up. I think it’s important to hold onto who you are. Not only what you like or don’t like but also what you belief in. What you stand for. It’s okay to change your mind, it’s alright to have a different opinion. Stand for what you belief in, trust yourself.

It’s okay to lose yourself
It’s alright to not be sure who you are. It’s okay to change and change right back. This goes hand in hand with the last point. Explore your opinions/options and remember that it’s never too late to find your way back to yourself. So experiment but never lose sight of yourself.

You look great with whatever hair you have
One of the hardest days of my life was telling my mum to text our hairdresser and to tell her it was time. When my hair was gone it was a release for my head and mind. But knowing I was going to lose it. I can never describe it. I have learned however that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Long or short. It looks freaking great. If you are ever scared to do something with your hair or if life makes you change it… I learned one thing, it’s just hair. It grows back. Like my doctor said: “it always falls out, but it also always comes back”.

If you don’t enjoy what you do, change it.
This goes for school, work or just hobbies or your sport. If you dislike something go do something else. There is nothing more demotivating than absolutely hating what you do. So do everything in your power to make your life happier and better, you can do it.

Going abroad is the best thing you could have ever done
I would wholeheartly recommend going out there. Going somewhere you have never been to. Make a life out there. Go abroad even for a little while. When I was eighteen. I was a grown eighteen-year-old but boy I grew up in NewCastle. I grew up in a way, you can’t put your head around. I became the girl I needed to be. I became myself. I think I wouldn’t be where I am today without that experience. I wouldn’t have wanted to miss it for the world. 

There is always someone that has it worse
This however doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid.

Relaxing is underrated
I have always been a very busy person. I always made sure I had something to do. For me not doing anything makes me bored and being bored makes me feel very cross with everything and everyone. I get bored quite quickly so I like to have something to do. Now I learned that after being bored to death there is something else. The feeling of not wanting to do anything. Which is something else than relaxing and doing nothing. I could just sit for an hour and feel as if I had just run a marathon, or worked the whole day. Chemo tiredness really is something else. It’s one of those things that is always there, no matter how good you sleep. But because of all the adrenaline in my body made by my body because it had to deal with being poisoned for a couple of months. Because of that relaxing became super hard and difficult. I learned that being busy is fine but you also need to give yourself time to relax because of medical reasons I had that much adrenaline but this can also happen when you have too much stress. To prevent this, it’s good to take time for yourself to relax and to feel like you don’t have to do anything. This takes time to learn but it’s very important for your mental and physical health.  I still struggle with relaxing, it’s so important to do though.

Take your health serious, always
IN DOUBTH, GO TO A DOCTER. Don’t trust your own? Always get a second opinion. Never ever let someone tell you, that your feelings, ideas and thoughts about your mental health and your physical health aren’t right. If something is wrong, and you know it is, go to the bottom to find out. Also when you get those yearly check-ups when you are a certain age. ALWAYS, ALWAYS go. Always take your health seriously, it might make years’ difference.

If you hit rock bottom, the only way is up
Rock bottom is a very scary place to be. It’s dark and lonely. It’s terrible. There is one up to being on your lowest low. When you can’t get any lower the only way for you to go is up. And oh that’s a good place to go.

Study as hard and as long as you can
I mean long as in years not minutes. We as a generation need to work (as in a proper job) for such a heck of a long time. I am not planning on starting to do that for a long time. Now I have had weekend jobs since I was sixteen so technically I am already working and I had a lot of internships but still. I love learning new things, and I think you can always expend your knowledge. Now school isn’t for everyone, I have a few friends who hated every single second of it. But there are a lot of ways to learn new things, to learn a new skill. The younger you are the easier and the more time and energy you have to spare. And when you chose to learn something, might as well make it worth your time and work hard.

Impossible is just an opinion
I have had so many people tell me that whatever I wanted to archive, no matter what my goal was, it wasn’t going to work.

Some people just simply suck
And you know what, that isn’t your fault. Not everyone needs to be your friend.

There is no excuse, set a goal and reach it.
No excuses. You don’t have to be quick in reaching your goal because yes life can slow you down. But boy, if you got a dream, go for it. With every fibre of your being. With everything you are and everything you can be. You can do great things if you put your mind to it.

It’s more than okay to be single
Most my friends have boyfriends and back in the day that would sort of bother me. I would not be jealous but I wouldn’t really like it if it was just me and they did all fun things with their boyfriends. Luckily how older people get the more they can do without their boyfriends. I learned that it’s okay to not have a partner, or to not want one. The fact that you don’t have a partner doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. In all honestly I would much rather have fun alone than to be miserable together. Not all relationships are like that but I just choose to not get into a relationship with someone I barley know.

You are never too old for Disney
Ah Disney, Disneyland was my first out the country holiday. It is the only amusement park that we as a family went to so often and still enjoyed it. A ton of good memories stem from going to Disney and watching Disney films. Like watching Tarzan over and over again because it was my brother’s favourite. If you are upset or down, watching a Disney film really lifts up your spirits. I find it silly that people think it’s for little kids only. I love Disney films and I will watch them whenever I please.

Don’t wait to be perfect, to enjoy life. If you wait until life is perfect before you enjoy it. You are going to wait forever. Some of the best advice I ever got and can ever give. Life now or you will be waiting forever. 

Life does truly start at the end of your comfort zone
So go do the things you are actually a bit afraid of. Things that make you smile and happy but thinking about doing it makes you almost a little sick. When I was going abroad. I almost back out. Two weeks before, I just couldn’t. But I did anyway and never looked back.

Be kind
No one ever gotten of worse for being a kind human being, put yourself out there and try to be nice. The world is a whole lot better if you are just happy and nice.

You aren’t going to die, at least not for a long time.
This more a personal message from me to me in the future. For everyone that has (or had) cancer. Cancer doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to die. I didn’t die and the hospital and I are going to make sure I am going to be very old.

No matter how old you get, you can always learn something new.
I am twenty-one and I learned a whole lot in the last 21 years. I can’t wait for the next 21 and all the years after that.

Lots of love,

Melissa

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