Personal

Endings

I like to watch movies I have seen before and I adore to read books over and over again. When I read a new book and I’m not sure about the storyline, if I like it I go all the way to the very end and if I find that interesting I go ahead and read the rest of it.

 What I do when I reread a book with a sad ending, I don’t finish it. I can easily put the book away and not think about it anymore. I also don’t like John Green books because of the endings which I have already mentioned on this blog.

The thing is, I think, the thing about endings is that I don’t like endings that don’t do the things I expect. I like watching films and reading books and having an idea how it is going to end. When I lived in England my host mum and I did this game where we would watch a film and put it on pause to chat about how it would end. I like that. I like knowing, I don’t like not being able to understand an ending. It’s weird because most people like that, something new or unexpected. I do as well sometimes but most of the times. I prefer everting to turn out the way I want to.

 

I like it when it’s simple, when I could have seen it from a mile away. I like rules and I like things to go by the rules. But the best books/films and movies aren’t like that, which I understand and know it’s just so much harder to watch. I put a whole lot of emotions in watching a film, I really get invested with their lives for that hour and a half. I might have to many mirror neurons, or I might be an too overly emotional person. It doesn’t really matter, what does matter is that that is a bit odd.

 

Back to the skipping to the last page and then going back to the place where I was reading first. I can’t skip a couple of pages, or a chapter and then read through it because I am so scared I’ll miss something. I have that with films as well. I would much rather have it playing at the background then skipping a minute or ten.

 

The thing what I was thinking about is that what if we live life the way we watch movies and read books? What if I live life so emotional, why I live life like every day needs to be special because I am afraid of the ending, or the twist. I don’t want to not see it, I don’t want to miss it. I want to be there and see it coming. Not the ending as in dead, the ‘happily ever after’. I don’t want my ‘happily ever after’ to come because then what? What happens then? I don’t know and that is the scary part.

 

I don’t know, no one knows because people don’t tell you. That is when life gets dull when life starts to suck. Because no one talks about after the happy ending. It might be a happy beginning, it might not. It’s scary, beginnings, endings it’s all scary. I like to play by the rules but in a lot of ways what fun is that? 

 

lots of love,

Melissa

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