Personal

The art of never making a video

People are different and ever changing. You will never find two people the exact same, however there are attributes quit a few people have. Me for example, I am very perfectionistic. In a way that if I can’t win I would not want to start. I make things into a challenge now a lot of people have that. I am also a worrier. I worry about everything until there is nothing to worry about anymore. That is usually the moment when I start to worry about the fact that there isn’t anything else to worry about. These two things contradict each other in a lot of ways and even when they don’t they don’t exactly complement each other.

A dream or goal of mine has been to start a YouTube channel for a long time. I have been making videos since I was eleven (that I know off). I never put any online because I worry too much, I think too little of myself (in the way that people probably won’t care or that I look stupid). And if I am honest because I have been sort of scared to start something so public. Which. Is exactly what I used to say about my blog.

In the past I have found myself while I was doing thing that I was absolutely terrified off. I am simply afraid, afraid of not being good enough, afraid of being judged. If I look deep down I am afraid of never winning, that is my whole character summed up. I am crazy ambitious, I always want more and to be better. I am also afraid of never trying. Afraid of never finding the things I truly love about myself. The things, inside and out, that make me the person I am meant to be.

I might one day make videos. I don’t know it will probably go the exact same way as my blog. It will be a spare of the moment decision. I know that once I do, once I take the jump, I will never look back with regret.

Lots of love,
Melissa

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