Somehow, I am
an old soul and a young girl all in one body. It might be stupid to believe in fairy
tales. Stupid thing to think that prince charming will stumble upon you. When you
lock eyes, you know. You know that this is the person you have been waiting
your whole life for. It’s stupid and ridiculous because things like that don’t
Still, I am looking, waiting for something. Stumbling through life speaking a different language than the people around me. Always feeling like I simple can’t grasp what people mean. Everything feels so complicated when I want thing to be simple. I am looking for a piece of chivalry, a bit of romance a bit of love.
True love, soulmates if you will exist. I know they do. I know that some people just fit. No matter their backgrounds, their ideas about the world. Two people choosing each other no matter what. To make the effort every day to love each other. Love, the kind lots of people look for the true kind, the real kind. This might be my downfall. This might be the reason why I can never seem to find what I am looking for. Maybe it just doesn’t happen for everyone but I can’t get myself to accept that.
Because I might not really be a thing more a feeling that some people seem to find with each other. I can’t help it though. I see it every day. Every day in my home I see what it is like to love someone for real.
I never want to admit it but I am so much like my dad in demeaner and being. My birthday is two days after him so we are both pisces which means we are sensitive people that feel everything so much. The good but also the bad, the ugly. We do also wear our emotions on our faces. I want to be able to look at someone the way my dad looks at my mum. With all the love, admiration and happiness radiating of me. It’s the most beautiful thing. She is his true love. I want that, to look at someone with so much love and not caring what anyone else says. Just love between me and this other person.
You can’t however wait for anyone else to make you happy. You need to do that yourself. This is one of the challenges I have set for myself. To become my best self all on my own and when I one day stumble upon someone I would like to get a coffee with I know that I don’t need them to be happy. Because I do despite everything belief you need to be your own person. You need to be your own light, your own fire. And then when you finally meet someone that matches you, your fire, your light. The both of you can just light the whole town on fire. But until then you can still shine, bright like the sun.