Something I have always prided myself on is that I do not settle. Not for anything or anyone. This drive alone is the reason I am where I am today. I could have been a primary school teacher by now. I would have been great. I would have a job and probably life on my own at this point. But I wouldn’t be happy. I know this without a doubt. Therefor I didn’t settle. I am actually so happy now, happier than I have been in years. Because of this I know that I made the right decision. It also made me think about settling and why I feel that I did not.
You might wonder how I know for sure that I wouldn’t have been happy as a teacher. I truly loved teaching and it was something I do think I was good at. I know this because it wasn’t my dream anymore. Where I used to miss school, miss the academic challenge. Where I used to long back to other times. I hardly ever miss teaching and if I do I miss it in another way than I was teaching back then. As I am a mentor this year I actually teach a class of first years sometimes. This means I do not have to miss it. However, teaching in the way I was able to do it back then didn’t give me the energy I think a job should give you. A ‘real, grown up’ job is hard work. I did that for a while. In my gap year I worked roughly 38 hours for a while. I also worked fulltime when I was living abroad. A job is just a job for so many people but as I never settle I am not looking for just a job. I am looking for a place that makes me excited to go in the morning and I understand that not everyday will be a fun day. Off-course it wouldn’t. But I personally would much rather have an off day at a great job than at a sh*t one. With that being said I also think as I am going to school for a long time this will ensure I at least get a job in a field that I truly enjoy.
I truly feel that people shouldn’t settle, not for your job, your friends and most importantly for love.
I have found this to be my greatest nightmare which it has been since I was roughly 17. That might have been the moment that I thought. No settling for me. Or maybe it was earlier, when I was twelve and decided that the level I was doing in high school wasn’t good enough. I always thought how terrible it would be to look back at life and think “If only I didn’t settle”. I don’t mean this in the way that you look back and think you could have done better or something like that. It’s not that I think oh what if I look back and I think if only my friends where cooler. It’s more a feeling. If you can never truly speak your mind. If you don’t feel like yourself, if you can’t be who you are… I don’t know, I feel that life is far to long for that. My mum always told me that the most important thing is how someone makes you feel and how your conversations are. Do you value these highly or not? There is the answer you are looking for.
People can and do change and when you and someone else are together you grow, you take a new perspective. This happens with friends, with love and with goals. You become another person just by growing up and with things you go trough. This is not always apparent but looking back you will see it. It is however said that people don’t change if they do not want to. You can’t change someone perspective by your will alone. Except off course, your own
I have in the past also learned to listen. Listen to what someone tells you, listen to what they don’t. Listen to your gut, how do they make you feel. I think feeling safe, feeling happy, feeling excited to be around them. That is the lowest bar you have to have. With this I do not mean how much you want to kiss their face but in your heart, in your toes. How do you feel? Do you actually want to be their friend? Their boy/girlfriend? Or not. Which is also alright. It can sometimes feel that if you made a certain decision that this is it. But you can always change your mind.
For me my body usually tells me what my mind doesn’t yet want to know. Sometimes slowing down and listening is good enough. Life isn’t a race. Some people go hard and fast and they fizzle out. With that being said. If it feels right, it feels right. It’s not measured in time it is measured in feeling,
I don’t want to look back at my life and think “if only it felt better, if only I listen to my gut more”. If you listen to your heart, you won’t ever feel that you settled.