Personal

Maybe

You look at me from across the table and I look at you. And while we talk it is as if the whole world suddenly disappears. It’s not that I am not aware of my surroundings. I am, it’s just not as important it’s not on the forefront in my mind. Because it’s you. It is as if I can truly focus on what is most important. As if my mind stopped running and it’s like I just ‘am’. Right in that moment, when it’s just you and me. I feel this complete and utter calmness like I had never known it before.

For some reason people look at books, or films or worse other people to find who they are. To find happiness. To find what it is like to live up to your full potential. They act as if they are half a person looking for the part they are missing. But what if they never come? What if you never seem to meet that person. What if life passes you by and here you are waiting, for your life to start. Would you have regrets? Would you feel sad? How would you feel if you knew someone did that for you? Would it make you happy or would it make you sad?

You cannot wait for life to come get you out of your room. It’s not going to happen. Life will pass you by while you are sitting in your room. It’s one of the harshest things in life. It’s the hardest thing to accept that the you that you are today is the you that you will never be again. Even if you want to, even if you fight everyday to become that person you never will again but this doesn’t mean life doesn’t have great things to offer. I recently wrote a post on my instagram about being happy with life. Not because of anything or anyone else.

Do you ever look at your life and think. “oh how fortunate am I?” I am not talking about privilege or never feeling sad but just looking at where you are standing today. Sometimes even against all odds and thinking. I did this, how awesome am I ? I think that this is such a beautiful way to look at the world.

There is nothing wrong with being in love and being happy with your s/o. But there is something wrong about looking at someone else to fulfil your life. You happiness is no-ones responsibility but your own. I think it’s a beautiful to look at your life and to evaluate what truly make you happy even if that takes a little while. Take time for you, take time to fall in love with the person you are becoming.

Lots of love,
Melissa

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