Personal

A fresh start, A clean slate

Once again, happy new year. For a while now I have been feeling that I should delete my old tweets all the way from 2012 and I wanted to delete my Wattpad. I actually wrote a Wattpad story. Being honest here, It really wasn’t that good. Well actually, being roughly 15 and bilingual, it was pretty good. Yet, it never was the best. That has multiple reasons. I didn’t put in the time to really craft the story. Wattpad is one of those write as you go, without much editing. This style, so I have learnt doesn’t work that well for me. Having said that, a lot of stories that do well are very graphic now that is not something I was comfortable with writing/reading back then. Besides this, I was monitored by my mum back then. Not because she wanted to control me but she found it fun. Honestly, it is the least ‘fun’ thing I can imagine. It is sort of embarrassing, especially then.

So I wrote a book
And for many, many years I couldn’t bring myself to delete it, I wanted to keep the story. So I made the decision to to copy the whole thing onto a word file for me to keep and cherish. I couldn’t bring myself to read it. Yet, someday I will be happy I kept it. So I deleted my story with more than 20.000 reads. Because I wanted to, a new start. A clean slate and let me tell you it felt good. Maybe one day, I will  write a story again. I couldn’t make myself delete the profile, I really didn’t want to so here it sits today. A treasure to be discovered or not. Whatever it will be, it will be fine.

On to  twitter
I started twitter in 2012 and I absolutely loved it, I met one of my friends on twitter who I still talk to, to this day. I met numerous other people, that I keep close to my heart but do not talk to anymore. I really stopped tweeting in 2017. I still remember going to the movies with coworkers and one of them saying ‘Oh you still tweet?’ After that it fizzled out. I still tweeted from time to time but nothing much and nothing major. I tried to delete my old tweets, I tried everything but at the end of the day. Nothing worked. I made the decision to delete the whole account and start a new. This was a hard decision for me to make. I had been losing followers as people deleted their accounts (or deleted me) so I wasn’t in the amount on twitter where their is a K instead of zero’s.The thing was, I like twitter. I think it is fun and I see the value of twitter for my blog. To give more of an update, to show a bit more this is why I started it in the first place. Honestly I wanted a fresh start because I was a bit embarrassed about my old tweets. I never said something bad, I was never mean. I never made a bad joke. I never been into a controversy. I just was a different girl 9 years ago. I am 23 now, making me 14 back then. You are just a child at 14. So I tweeted child things, even though I thought I was grown. That and a lot of horrible spelling mistakes (which I am not good at now but alright). Being that young and being on the internet. You know it’s not bad. It’s just after a while you need a new start. Which I chose myself, which I chose today. So I made a new twitter, tweeted my first tweet. You can read it here.Almost exactly nine years after my first tweet I chose myself and I gave myself a second chance. You always have the opportunity to give yourself a new beginning.

What about the blog?
Not once, not ever did I think about deleting my blog. Yes some posts are cringe but I think more than anything it shows growth. I love reading my old posts. Even if they are cringe, I can see so much growth in myself. It’s one of the most beautiful things about being online. It might not be the new year, new me thing most people do. But taking back life into my own hands and take back my own work. It’s great, this is also growth. And you can do the same.

 

If you want to read more diary posts click here, if you want to read something else click here .

Thank you for reading and lots of love,
Melissa

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